On a truthful note, there are many circumstances where a sane man can deny his marital status.
The same can apply even for a woman, but because we live in a society where Men are ready to sleep with any woman regardless, the woman doesnt really have to do much. She can literally walk from her House to her Lover's abode with her wedding ring on her finger.
The man however, has to deal with a woman who wants more than sex. This logically brings the need to put up a facade which is fed by extreme and uncontrollable lust.
We live in a society where people get married before they actually discover their true selves.
From peer pressure, to the need to settle down, many people just go into marriages of convenience which get severely threatened when the "right" personality appears. This is where women face greater temptation.
That situation where after settling for marriage telling yourself your fantasies are unreal, you find out that person you just knew actually ticks more boxes than your beloved Hubby on a consistent basis. Any fracas at home sends you into comparison of both men. All that is waiting for this ticking time bomb to explode is the opportunity.
The same can be said of men, when after fulfilling the self-serving purposes of marriage, they suddenly realise (usually years into the mariage) they have mustered the financial and emotional wherewithall to get the woman they want (that badass side chic), as opposed to the woman they need (wife). Men who find themselves in this spot have varied levels of experience.
The inexperienced ones who fear rejection, but cannot control that need to explore, invariably put up a facade. Whatever sensitivity they would have had for their spouse, and side chic, is overwhelmed by raw desire.
The experienced ones who know they can potentially date several if one rejects his married status, is ready to declare, and wisely so. These ones understand the hypocrisy of the society regarding sex, and knows the under-currents behind all the sanctimonious pretence from even the highest moral agents in society.
He knows the average woman enjoys good sex no matter what she publicly proclaims. He is aware many women want more than sex, and he is ready to be sensitive to this reality.
He also knows among the many that enjoy sex, many are willing to cheat with him, and he is ready to play the pool for the many that are ready for game regardless of his status, as long as he makes it known.
And, for many men and women, the spice is actually the secrecy. A woman once told me that "stolen sex is the sweetest".
A lot happens underground.
Many agony Aunts whose advise you follow on Facebook moan under the hips of married men they so despise publicly.
Many Pastors and moral agents who condemn indecent dressing have Hotel rooms permanently booked for the next tryst they anticipate.
And.......its not an African thing. Ours may be worse to a degree because of the economic, and hypocritically religious climate, but its global.
I have stopped condemning sexual indiscretions.
Many who do, at least the ones I know are not any better.
Written By Obinna Aligwekwe