A few of the basic, bare minimum requirements that I look out for in my friends and partners are kindness/consideration/empathy/respect not just with me but with others.
I am very weary of a person who treats me fine but dis-regards the guy who opens the door for us at an eatery or mis-treats the receptionist who attends to us.
I don't know how to partition kindness and empathy and it is not something I want to learn. I am weary of a person who acts nice with me but treats with contempt people who are not on the same social/religious and all round cadre with them.
I am also weary of a person who consider people who offer domestic assistance (maids, cleaners, etc) as inferior and therefore not worthy of respect.
I am also weary of a person who attaches my value as a person to what he or she can get from me or what I can do.
It is kindness, respect and consideration that makes a spouse understand that gender roles are not set on stone and that striving towards the utmost good of the other is what matters at the end of the day and not what some rules or society says.
It is kindness, respect and consideration that makes a person understand that humans are beyond stereotypes and labels. Respect ensures you treat people as individuals beyond labels and tags.
It is kindness, respect and consideration that makes another understand that a person is not defined by what they can get you or what they have.
It is kindness, respect and consideration that makes a person understand that treating others kindly is not just something one gender does, that giving up seats or giving a lift, or putting another ahead is not just a 'male' thing or chivalrous expectations but it is a human thing, a way to sow or pay forward random acts of love and kindness.
It is kindness, respect and consideration that makes an employer understand that his/her employees are not slaves and he isn't a task master.
It is respect that makes a person understand that people don't need qualifications to matter, and that we don't need to centre ourselves into identities before being treated with kindness.
It is respect, consideration and love that makes spouses become sensitive to each other's needs, not seeking to subdue or control the other but rather working together to add beauty and build each other.
It is respect, consideration and kindness that makes a person keep an environment tidy, understanding that acts of carelessness, no matter how little, have an overall effect on others around him even after s/he is gone.
I have never been impressed with good looks, glossy appearances or wealth or degrees. Those will be a plus to your strength of heart as a human but I simply want to know how you treat others and not just me.
Written By Enwongo C. Cleopas