That Popular Belief Of A Girl Losing Respect From Having Sex Is Nonsense

‎I woke up on the very good side of my bed. In fact during morning prayers, I was smiling for no reason. Maybe it's because it's Friday and I've been tired of acting like an adult all week. But before I drop my adult costume, this has been in my heart to share a long time now.‎

I remember a colleague bragging once how he slept with a girl and immediately she lost her respect before him. I was honestly confused and I thought there was something wrong with him. I asked him, 'what about your own respect?' Overtime, from football centres, to visiting barbing salons and from being around guys, I have come to see that some men really think this way.

Both of us have 'sex' and I am the one that loses respect? Amazing! Throw such stories away. If any respect will be lost, then it's going to be mutual.

That popular belief of a girl losing respect from having sex is nonsense. Oh wait? The guy will be decorated with medals and a uniform? Of course not! Both respect will go and find their square root.
If you sleep with a prostitute, you're a brostitude/prostitute. Ain't no one gonna wonna claim sanctimonious. Gone are those days I believed hypocritical teachings that come cloaked as 'a one sided virtue' in the name of religion or culture. Be gone small satan.

You teach your daughters to close their legs, also teach your sons to zip their pants. There is no free pass for anyone. Both should take responsibility for their sexual lives and choices.

Before you shame a woman for having sex with you, I am going to shame you first. Shame shame shame, shame!

"O boy, you people should come see o, this girl is so cheap, after one month she had sex with me". Heard this at the barbers and I laughed seriously. Are you daft? You're the cheap one. You're so cheap that you tie your worth to your sexual experiences and you project it on others. It is so unfortunate that your entire worth lies between your legs.

If a woman becomes dirty after you touch her, the problem is with your hands and not her. You're the dirty one. You soiled her. If a woman loses respect after sleeping with you, you're the one with the problem. You had no respect at all for her or yourself. Go fix your self! I don't think that anyone who has self worth will lose respect for a person after sex. The reason you're saying you lost respect for her is because you never respected her to begin with. Infact you have no respect for people. You just wanted to get laid and go. Oya, take a bow. Your excuse or attempt at shaming her speaks to something inside you. It has nothing to do with the other person.

Isn't it sad that you think so poorly of yourself that any person who has contact with you loses their value/respect?
In fact, I think it is immaturity and yeyeciousness that will make a person attempt at shaming another for an act they too were a part of. ‎

Your penis does not dictate the value of the vagina. Vice versa. Both are body parts, not a measuring or value meter. Both are answerable to the pleasure they sought.

In the words of my mentor, 'did I ask you to place any value between my legs? Was I there when you kept respect in my thighs?' is you okay? That politics of respectability and virtue selectivity has no place around me. No, sex isn't ugly, you're the one.‎ And shaming people for something so beautiful and natural is beyond me. If your faith frowns at pre-marital sex, honestly stick with abstinence. It starts and ends with you. Don't project it on others. And if your faith or personal beliefs doesn't, take responsibility for your actions alone.

en By ‎Enwongo C. Cleopas
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