Amanda shared a Coldstone N5,300 date brouhaha. Of a woman in need of Coldstone ice cream, and a man unaware of the cost of Coldstone ice cream... until the bill arrived.
Someone sent the munched post and asked for my opinion.
"What do you think Joy."
What I think? I don't know of any man that I will complain to "Dear Amanda or Joromi" about Coldstone, except my driver gisting me in traffic about "a gehfren with long-throat"... or an intern in my office.
At first it didn't seem like it was out of order, my response. But I realise how easily this could offend people... and sincerely I can't understand why it should.
Are we going to continue cutting our wings so every man can walk in and disrespect us with a bloody Coldstone ice cream?
No nah.
I do not understand lower class dating (this is where Nigerian boys will say, "nothing wrong with cutting down your cost during a date. You don't have to go broke just to love a woman." You miss the point, but carry on).
I am of the school of thought that only at a certain level of comfort should you accommodate affection.
I have seen couples sweating under the sun whilst waiting for a bus to take them to the cinema for a date or the beach. The Nigerian sun and temperament making a mockery of romance. And I shudder.
I don't understand Coldstone, Mr. Biggs and elegushi romance.
I never will. You can't force me to pretend I am beneath a status to declare some kind of humility that makes you happy.
I don't even understand a car without a/c. Have you had an encounter with Lagos' sun beating on your car? The attack is like rabies. A car without a/c in Lagos doesn't take you to your destination, it takes you straight to hell.
I don't wish to grow with somebody. I am already a full grown woman, desiring a full grown man. Abi?
If you think that is an arrogant position then let it be arrogant.
I can't be lying just so you will think of me as "down to earth".. I am not down to earth. I am up up in the sky.
And no! The answer should not be, "the babe should buy her ice cream herself. Be a boss. Another N5k bae."
If he takes you out on a date then he should... you know what, never mind.
*PS: I did warn you this was an arrogant submission.
Written By Joy Isi Bewaji