How Not To Have A Conversation

Nigerian Women: How NOT to have a conversation...

Woman 1: I just found out my boyfriend is married but I can't seem to gather the strength to leave him.

Woman 2: Ah! If it is me, I wee not take it. I am better than that. I am classier than that. No man can treat me like that. He will know that I am a real woman. I cannot even date his type. Haba! How can?!!!
First off, you need to shut up. Your breath stinks. I know just by staring at your dentition. Reminds me of leggo destroyed by a toddler.

This is not how to talk. It should not be allowed in civil discussions.

You are making your friend feel unworthy. Of what exactly? Loving a man she wasn't aware she had no moral right to love?

Women who condemn other women by extolling their own virtues, usually have juicier secrets and dirt stored in their cupboards.

They will date that which they deny they can never date. Younger or older men. Married or Unmarried. Broke or unbroke.

It's easier to dream up "choices" when you've got only the security guard at your office saying "hello" to you in a way that suggests he finds you more appealing than his lunch.

"Ah! I will not date this. I will not date that."

Sistah, relax. They have to ask you out first. Abi? (since we are all promoting Patriarchy here, feminists and non-feminists.)

When that time comes, I can guarantee you that you will do the same things you have judged.

You will cheat.

You will stay in abusive relationship.

You will beg a man not to leave.

Because it requires deep level insecurity to listen to another woman wail over her loss... yet the only open advice you have is to reprimand her by reminding us of your perfect life prone-free of shock, disappointment and heartbreak.

PS: You should have me as a friend for a change. Open that mouth of yours...

You go learn.

Written By Joy Isi Bewajiwaji
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