The Life Of Some Nigerian Christians

1. Attend Holy Mass on Sunday.

2. By Monday morning, before heading to open up their business, stop by at neighbourhood's rickety prayer house where the bushy-haired prophetess lives. While there, receive the week's prophecy and ask if anyone in their family is responsible for their lack of progress.

3. Tuesday, go to Bible Study at Evangelical Bible Church at the other end of the street.

4. Wednesday, visit Eze-mmuo at the close of work to complain that business is slow and competitors are outselling them. Take time to send out their tongue so the Ezemmuo rubs some magic substance on it, so the next person they ask to come and buy automatically whips out their cheque book.

5. Thursday, attend the SIGNS & WONDERS crusade at the open field located in one of the broken government secondary schools.

6. Friday, go to the river banks, complete with white clothes invoking, rebuking, sherimamaring with ndi church uwe ocha.

7. Saturday, attend the usual Saturday prayers where they have to take a bus 1-2 hours away from town to attend.

Next week: rinse and then repeat.

They look for God everywhere and nowhere. In their quest to seek instant solutions and prophecies, they've gathered so many competing and disagreeable spirits, they have no idea what they're doing nor what is doing them.

Written By Mitterand Okorie
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