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On This Special Day Of The Lord's Birth, I'll Like To Talk To Young Women! By Joy Isi Bewaji


It's that cassette again. You need to hit it on your palm a few times to adjust the reel because you have played it many times. It's a broken cassette, yup. Put it in the player one more time and hear it again.
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Money.
You have to make your own money. When I felt totally disrespected by a school, and my kids treated unfairly... it wasn't the advice of anyone that rescued me, it was money. Plain and simple.
Money is your best companion when you are unsure. It will advice you better than any living thing. Money has your back. It takes care of you - from your skin to your dreams.
Stop disregarding it.
Get acquainted with it. Build a relationship with it. Respect it. Get it legitimately. It will save you from many situations. There's nothing in this world that is perfect. Money isn't perfect. People who are terribly insecure make it out to be a demon or a god - hating on it or worshipping it.
It is none of these, it is your dear friend. And that's a good position to be. Don't listen to people who make you out to be weird for choosing to build a career that will earn you respect and money.
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Love.
Go in with your eyes open. Stop dumbing down for the sake of a man. You are a queen. He either steps up or steps down. I had a very intense phone conversation with my boyfriend by 1am this morning about finances, responsibility, commitment, and growth. I don't think anyone has stripped him to bare bones like that before. He either works with it or leaves. Either way, I'm good.
He sent a message this morning to say that was a beautiful conversation with a thank you note.
Do not let "love" or the promise of it continue to get in the way of your progress. You are not Mimosa Pudica. You are not made to shrink. Have a standard in relationship that you also can match. Your relationship MUST occupy all your big dreams.
And if you ever have to make a choice between a man and your dreams or your career, choose your career. By jove, choose your career!
This is 2017 going on 2018. You are not your mother. You are not in 1981.
I say it all the time: no man can love me like my career. No man can love me like my job.
In your case, it could be: no man can wish you well like your education.
Be wise.
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Friends.
Emmanuel Eboue was surrounded by friends and people who claimed to love him, yet they fed him with bad advice. I think people need to be friends with themselves first before looking out of their windows to find someone they need to bestow with that title.
We are not friends with ourselves yet we seek someone else to fulfil the needs of friendship.
Be your own best friend, only then can you truly live a life ruled by common sense.
Friends are overrated. And that is rich coming from me because I have enjoyed immense goodwill from friends. But it is overrated in many cases. I am best friends with myself. I give myself the best advice. I look out for myself. I know that it is important to read the small print in any document. I know to watch my finances. I know to take care of my career, my body, my health. I have, at least, 75% of the answer or solution to anything I desire. The rest 25% is for family and friends. It puts the power of my own life in my own hands.
Be your own best friend. Stop looking out there for someone to save you. Like attracts like. A confused woman attracts confused friends who make bad choices. A secure and strong woman attracts her kind. They lodge her in Eko hotel, get her a script deal of N1m, and send N150k to her account for Christmas.
Understand the dynamics of friendship. Stop being a victim of those who stay around in your life and add very little value.
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Move On.
One of our biggest problems is the inability to move on. I have perfected the artistry of moving on. I wake up every morning a new being. I move on swiftly without looking back. I am so good at it that I even forget names or what transpired. I will not trade my peace for anyone or any situation. I am in control of my space. Stop living in your past. Stop regretting things you can't change. There's a lot of beauty ahead of you, but you have the weight of your past on your back. Drop that baggage and move the heck on. Whip your hair back and forge on. You are made of gold, not even dirt can mess with the quality of your being.
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2017 was an incredible year for me. With WRITERS INC and the other projects, I am looking forward to 2018. It is already looking like a dream.
I am blessed. Greatly so. It will be un-Christlike not to share these tips.
And oh, remember to always show up. If you are invited to be somewhere, to prove yourself, to do a job, to be part of a team... show up with all your gods and demons. Show up with your genius. Show up with your out-of-the-box ideas. Stop shrinking. Come correct. Come with all your grit.
You must learn to win in this life. This one life is all you've got.
I'm wishing you well as we head into 2018. Make smarter choices.
Merry Christmas!
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