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The Business of Likeability! By Joy Isi Bewaji



Your neighbour is a paedophile, you've heard stories, probably; yet you tell your kids to "greet him but don't get close to him oh".

Even with a monster, you still want to be seen as being considerate.
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Your friend has an uncontrollable sexual appetite the size of Olumo rock, unable to hold any decent conversation with a woman without proposing a tryst. Even compromises on integrity in some instances.

Your friendship is still strong. Your defence for his legendary craft at getting women in a room is to mock the naivety of these girls.

The only person you protect from the snare of your friend is your sister. You can't leave them both in a house without freaking out.

But he is your friend. And sticking around someone just one step away from sexual molestation, enforces your likeability.
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An employee is robbing a company blind. You know. You don't report to management because you need to be likeable. You need, also, to be invisible. Likeability that doesn't draw attention to you. Likeability to keep you "neutral".

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You were raped. The rapist is still within your neighbourhood. You have decided to "move on and let karma deal with him" by helping his mother out at her shop near the bus stop, so your actions can prove to him- the rapist- that you are a good girl and undeserving of being raped. You are eagerly waiting for the year he will apologise to you.

You are suffering the chronic symptoms of likeability.

You need help. Your entire life is going to be one little pathetic pretentious mess.
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You have been kicked out by your husband.

Your family still has the effrontery to suggest to you to move back in and make it work.
You and your entire family obviously missed the moment God was dispensing "self value".
You are likeable. But you are no better than a dog.
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There's a trail of accusation from ex-friends with your name all over it.

You actually have the time to call them individually to try and explain or win their confidences back. This goes back and forth for weeks! From WhatsApp to Facebook inbox to subs to godly posts and memes, to text messages and desperate calls.

Whew! Girl, why are you doing this to yourself?

Your hunger for being likeable is what they should teach young girls, especially, never to aspire to.
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Your man beats you blue and black. You take a picture and a message to instagram. You start your message with "My darling husband has been beating me for 10 years now."

You end the message with, "please let's fight domestic violence. Pray for the devil to stop controlling my marriage."

You have refused to accept that your husband is THE devil and there isn't any omnipresent evil controlling your home.

You're sad. And your likeability skills are lit.
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Staying friends with an Ex who was totally disrespectful, is YOU trying to be likeable.
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You keep friends with women whom you know are worse than enemies, because you are afraid to function alone.

I applaud your need to be likeable.
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You constantly change your stance when you realise you are drifting away from the popular opinion on a matter.

Firstly, you are moth. You really don't have a life. You exit under the shadows of others.

Secondly, you own the COO badge of Likeability Inc.
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Women who banter with misogynists and enjoy sexist jokes and vibes, are seeking desperately to be liked and appreciated by men. To be accepted as "correct girl". To be pronounced "good" "sweet" "my kind of woman".
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Every single time you need some Joromi character to solve a simple marital/relationship issue that even a 5 year old has an answer to... that is YOU seeking likeability.
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My hope for you is that you find an authentic life, and live it.

-Because this sham you are living is tragic.
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