Yes, biblical injunction says no marriage, no sex - but this is a most convenient sin of our age and time. Let's keep this issue for focus another day!
Marriage places onerous task on two individuals; it simply says give up every thing, all that single you out as an individual. You have become one body, one soul and one spirit. Truly, but we must not overlook reality in some aspects of living within marriage.
Among most cherished freedoms relinquished to great extent in marriage, consent to sex, almost always, is not conveniently compromised, its circumstancial nature propels this. Sex need not be demanded, forced, and not in the least to be compelled. Sex requires enabling background of consent and approval. Implicitly or otherwise, it is influenced by several factors - emotion, mood, environment, etc,.
Right to decline can intervene, given particular circumstances, without the other nursing denial of entitlement. No one is entitled to the body of another.
Indeed, nothing warrants partners violating each other, as it were, jumping to take sudden ride like on a Horse. Will and consent need be mutually establish. Courtesy demands cordial, express request and approval. Cooperation may be implicit approval, the contrary means express NO - which must be taken in uthmost good fate! Partners must always show mutual respect for each other's decision at such moment.
For real, marital status does not bestow unquestionable right to sex. Each partner must respect, tolerate and accept the other's emotional disposition. One in grief, or melancholic, may not be in the mood for sex. A woman having reasons to doubt her husband's fidelity may opt out. A man will not expect cooperation after conflict with wife. A man who disappears with friends on drinking spree will not return home after midnight expecting to bounce on a cooperative wife. These are explicit situations in marital relationship.
Love within frienship, perhaps with prospect of marriage, may also involve sexual activity, depending on the level of spiritual inclinations of both partners. It is therefore, a meaningful exercise to evaluate situations along this premise without risking contempt from advocates for abstentious relationship.
These preambles allude to fact that ladies in relationship can legitimately adopt strategies to ascertain genuine love. Among these strategies, the most effective is DENIAL OF SEX. It reminds and alerts, says "If you love me, genuinely, and want to take me as wife, endure sex to convince me." It is that simple!
By implication, moment of sex is strictly defined and followed by corresponding emotional and psychological atmosphere - altogether mutually conducive. This is a point of view mediating between Spiritualists' angle and Realists' submissions. Though moderately sympathetic to the spiritual, it strikes a convenient balance. Spiritual or realistic, alternative worldviews are juxtaposed to enable proper evaluation and judgement by diverse readers.