There were 641 people at Shoprite mall, Festac yesterday...
345 were inside Shoprite(don't ask how I got the numbers. It just seemed that way. Heads everywhere!)
All dressed up. Children in high heels and mummy's lipstick. Adults in their romantic get-up... all on a very long queue... holding on to items they could easily buy at a neighbouring store for much less.
Someone had just an icecream cup and biscuit on a queue as long as a decade.
I just wanted chicken drumsticks. But no chicken drumstick is worth this kind of life.
I couldn't get drumsticks because Nigerians have made Shoprite into a holiday inn. An excursion of sort. A place to rally around for "adventure", with nothing but milk and cake to buy.
This is our Disneyland.
A complete Easter chaos of a failed nation... with not ONE holiday spot for the family.
That the only thing worth disguising as an expedition is a South African supermarket... where a disintegrated middle class and vibrant lower class get to pretend they are out-and-about living grand, shopping for mere groceries.
Selfies and smiles and an embrace of our decline... in our uninhibited joy is an acceptance of our incompetence, our failures.
Monies stashed in ikoyi homes, more than enough to build picnic parks with family games from Surulere to Agege.
But no! That cannot happen in Nigeria. Because politicians are not done stealing.
So let us all just pretend that Shoprite is a magic train ride that can take us to paradise.
Hop on a trolley.
Written By Joy Isi Bewaji